Monday, January 24, 2011

Where did 'Edith' come from? It isn't the name I had when I was very young ...


I still regret that I lost my name.  I didn't want my name to be 'Edith'.  I wasn't 'Edith' when I was born.

I was named after my Daddy's mother (who died before I was born) Ella and my Mother's mother (who also died before I was born) Edith.  I was always called "Edith Ellen" other than when I had colic as a baby.  I'd cry for hours, Mother said. That's  when I was called "Edith Yellin(g)".

Most children are called by both their names when they're in trouble.  Not me.  Edith was NOT my name.  I was "Edith Ellen". 

I was a shy kid for a long time.  Mother took me into first grade and told me to ask the little gal sitting at the table if I could sit by her.  I obeyed and asked very quietly, "Can I sit by you?"  Vicki looked up at me and said I could.  Today, Vicki is a facebook friend, living on the other side of the US. 

Mother took me to the teacher who asked me what my name was.  I was too shy to say more than I absolutely had to - the least I could get away with.  I answered quietly, "Edith".  I was sure Mother would tell her "Edith Ellen".  She didn't. My first grade teacher took me at my word and from that day on, people at school called me "Edith". 

Mrs. Jones, my first grade teacher was my Daddy's first grade teacher too. 

My family still called me "Edith Ellen" for years but as I grew older and became a teenager, even my family started calling me "Edith".  Sigh ... I feel like I've lost my identity in some ways. 

There are two or three people in the world who call me "Edith Ellen". Lila Jane and June do.  When I hear them say or see them write "Edith Ellen", I feel like I've reconnected with my real identity and as if I have received a big hug from yesterday. 

Lila Jane (photo below), a cousin who lived next door (a mile away by road) married and moved away before my family quit calling me by my 'real' name.  I didn't see June (photo below), a cousin, very often. I don't think she was ever really aware that people started calling me "Edith".  I love hearing them call me "Edith Ellen".

But I do guess my real identity is "Edith".  Stephen never knew me as "Edith Ellen".  I never ever introduced myself as "Edith Ellen" that I ever remember.  As much as I'd like to blame others for the loss of my real name, I can only blame myself and my (past) shyness. 

Deep inside, I still know me as "Edith Ellen".  Everywhere else, I know me as "Edith".


Lila Jane holding me


Francis, Aunt Lora, and cousin June

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